One day at work I decided to put up an ad on the work buy and sell for my moped. I don't ride it much, and won't be able to ride it soon enough, so I thought someone else could benefit. Now the problem is that I couldn't write an ad like a normal person. I did have some special consultation help on this one, and can guarantee it would not be the same without that help. On the other hand, this version also does not contain the phrase "sex machine". For my money, it's a wash.
Have you ever wanted the benefits and freedom of riding a scooter without the embarrassment of riding a scooter? This is just the machine for you. It's a red and white 1969 Honda PC50 moped. That's mo(tor)ped(al), as in it can be used as a really slow motorbike, or a really heavy bicycle. There's a reason scooters are faster than this PC50: nobody wants to be seen on a scooter.
This red rocket is in good running condition. Almost everything works as it's supposed to, and the things that didn't work were taken off and thrown out. Who really needs an air filter anyway, right? The headlight needs a new bulb, and the speedometer and odometer don't work. Since it tops out around 50 km/hr, you don't really need to worry about your speed. It has an astonishingly powerful 50cc 4 stroke engine that puts out an earth shattering 1.8 hp. That's almost half as much as your lawnmower! So you don't even need to worry about 2-stroke oil. Just put in the 3 dollars of gas and drive it for 100 kms or more. You can't beat that even if you tied 2 hybrid cars together.
Apparently, some of the motorcyclists in the building think their bikes will catch something from parking near this, so you don't ever have to worry about those people knocking it over. So not only do you not have to wait to get a parking spot here, but you'll have a nice buffer zone.
All you need to take this beauty home is to have a class 5 license, give me 650 dollars (0b0) and pau MPI $230 a year. You can practically insure this PC50 with the change from your couch.
You can reach me at 990-4278 any time after 4pm.
I don't actually know anyone at work who rides a scooter, so I don't think I'm burning any bridges with this one. I did used to have a friend who rides his motorcycle to work, but he hasn't really talked to me since this ad went up. He also parked far away from my moped. Coincidence? Probably.
I always write particular lines that aren't very funny, but they amuse me to no end. In this case, every time I read the line about the hybrid cars, I start laughing.
The weird thing about this ad is that I've had coworkers, and strangers, come up to me and comment on it. Nobody has said anything negative about it. I have heard stories of people gathering around a computer and reading it out loud. What the fuck? I was told by a coworker that her daughter loved my ad. This woman actually felt the ad was funny enough to take it home and show her family. How fucked up is that? This is an ad for a moped!!! I admit, I went for form over function mostly, but it's still an ad nonetheless.
I had written up an ad to post on kijiji as well, but they didn't accept it. Apparently there is some sort of quality review. Though I suspect it is because that contained the following paragraph:
Guys, this sex machine comes with a stick, so you can beat off the ladies. Ladies, I don't think you need any help beating guys off.
Apparently I'm never going to get the phrase "sex machine" into an ad.
So the end to this story is I did actually sell the moped through kijiji. I got 500, which is over 75% of my asking price! As far as I'm concerned, that's some sort of record for selling something on kijiji. I had to wade through about twenty million offers of 300 dollars to get it though. People are cheap.
I had one person email me, and all it said was "$200?", so I emailed him back "$10000000?". He replied with "?", so I said "I thought we were playing the stupid offers game. My bad". I am easily annoyed by selling things on the internet, but at the same time, I have a lot of fun writing the ads. Maybe if I let it all out on my blog, I can write normal ads for things and have an easier time selling them. For now, I'm still ineffective at marketing, though.
I had written up an ad to post on kijiji as well, but they didn't accept it. Apparently there is some sort of quality review. Though I suspect it is because that contained the following paragraph:
Guys, this sex machine comes with a stick, so you can beat off the ladies. Ladies, I don't think you need any help beating guys off.
Apparently I'm never going to get the phrase "sex machine" into an ad.
So the end to this story is I did actually sell the moped through kijiji. I got 500, which is over 75% of my asking price! As far as I'm concerned, that's some sort of record for selling something on kijiji. I had to wade through about twenty million offers of 300 dollars to get it though. People are cheap.
I had one person email me, and all it said was "$200?", so I emailed him back "$10000000?". He replied with "?", so I said "I thought we were playing the stupid offers game. My bad". I am easily annoyed by selling things on the internet, but at the same time, I have a lot of fun writing the ads. Maybe if I let it all out on my blog, I can write normal ads for things and have an easier time selling them. For now, I'm still ineffective at marketing, though.
